


The Great Avengers Body Swap

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bodyswap, Crack, F/M, Humor, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Steve's ass, Tony Comes to Terms with the fact that he lusts after Steve's body, Trolling, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 07:20:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4051243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For this prompt at comment-fic on lj:<i><br/>the Avengers decide to swap costumes and pretend they've been body-swapped to mess with Tony's head.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	The Great Avengers Body Swap

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [复仇者灵魂交换大作战（A Translation of "The Great Avengers Body Swap" by storiesfortravellers）](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8035648) by [micaryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/micaryn/pseuds/micaryn)



Tony almost did a double take when he saw Clint standing at the kitchen counter, pouring himself a coffee, wearing a Captain America uniform.

"Whoa, Legolas - does Steve know you're roleplaying him? That something you do for the wife?" Tony said with a wink. He had just gotten back in town, and this was hardly what he expected to see when he came back to the Tower.

"This is no joking matter, Tony," Clint lectured him. "If we don't figure this situation out, there could be serious consequences."

"And ... the sarcastic punchline comes when?" Tony said. Clint seemed so... sincere. It was just weird.

"You really didn't hear?" Clint said earnestly.

"Hear what?"

"The team was body switched on our last mission. It's actually lucky you were out of the country at the time. We'll need you working with SHIELD science to fix this."

"Body switched? Seriously?"

"Look, Tony, we all know you like to joke around," Clint - no, _Steve_ said, in his best listen-to-me-son voice, "But everyone's a little tense right now, so don't take it too far. Especially with Clint."

"Clint?" Tony said, feeling the dissonance as he spoke about Clint right to Clint's face.

"He's in Bruce's body. And he doesn't have nearly enough practice keeping his heart rate down. So just... cool it a little, okay?" 

"Uh. Yeah sure."

"Thanks, Tony," he replied, giving Tony a very sincere pat on the shoulder before walking off with his coffee.

Tony just stared after him. 

\--

"Hey, Bruce?" Tony said, trying his luck. It had sure seemed like Steve, but it wasn't beyond Clint to play a prank like that.

Tony had walked into the exercise room then to see Bruce sitting on the floor, trying to meditate. He was wearing Hawkeye's uniform, which didn't bode well.

"Looking good, Bruce," Tony said hopefully.

"Go fuck yourself, Stark."

"...Clint?"

Bruce (Clint) opened his eyes and gave him an epic Barton eyeroll. "What do you want, Stark? Can't you see I'm busy trying not to kill everyone?"

Tony thought for a second, remembering Steve's warnings. Then, not being able to help himself, he asked, "So what would happen if I like gave you a wet willy right now?"

"I'd shoot you in the ass with an arrow. And say it was an 'accident.'"

"'Kay. Well, I'll leave you to your nice calm meditations then."

"Fucking right you will."

\--

"...Bruce?" Tony asked hesitantly. Natasha's body was lounging on the couch eating ice cream, wearing a loose collar shirt and khakis. 

"Mmm. Tony! Want some ice cream?"

"No, I'm good."

"You know, I always have to eat ice cream slow. Because even an ice cream headache could bring out ... you know." Natasha (Bruce) took a big spoonful of ice cream and swallowed it up.

"Oh. I didn't realize."

"After this, I'm going to walk around New York and just yell at obnoxious people. And maybe read some Internet comment boards."

"Really?"

"You have no idea how good it feels to get angry," Natasha (Bruce) said, half relieved, half mournful that he knew it wouldn't last forever. 

"Are you sure that's safe -- to go around picking fights in New York?" 

Bruce shrugged. "I figure Natasha's got enough muscle memory to kick the crap out of most people in this city. Not that I'm planning to do that, but you know. It just ... feels so good, you know?"

"Yeah," Tony said, imagining the havoc it could wreak if someone with Natasha's physical skills went around embracing every opportunity to be angry. "I, uh, gotta go. To do, uh, a thing."

\--

Tony walked into the media room to find Steve Rogers looking through his movie collection.

Steve Rogers, wearing a tight black catsuit that clung to every muscle on his body. Tony had thought the Captain America uniform was flattering, but this... this made Tony want to buy real estate on Steve's ass.

Which... was the kind of comment that would get his ass kicked if he said it to Natasha, Tony reminded himself. Because clearly, Steve's body was actually Natasha.

"Hey, Stark," Steve (Natasha) said, looking up briefly. 

"How are you doing, Romanov?" Tony said, swallowing.

"Aliens body swapped me with Rogers. You know how it is."

"Yeah. Hey, you know what would be funny? If you like dyed Steve's hair purple or green or something," Tony suggested.

Natasha gave him a little quirk of the eyebrow, and it looked wrong ( _perfect_ ) on Steve's innocent face. She leaned in and whispered, "I was thinking I might shave a little heart in his chest hair."

"Or somewhere more intimate?" Tony said, trying to pass it off as a joke.

Natasha tilted her head, gave him that knowing look that said that she could read every dirty thought Tony was thinking. "And would you like to help with that?" she asked.

"Uh..."

"Just kidding, Stark. If you want your hands all over Steve's body, you're going to have to ask him." She gave him a little smirk, half cruel and half amused, and seeing such a Natasha-like predator's smile on Steve's lips just _did something_ to Tony.

Natasha walked away then, and Tony couldn't help but watch as she gracefully moved Steve's body, the sway of those hips almost intoxicating.


End file.
